Why Gratitude makes us happy........

My mother went to the Government Office to liquidate her National Savings Certificates. As the clerk handed the cheques, my mother thanked her profusely. The clerk stopped and gave a big smile. Nobody thanks us. If we slip up, they are quick to create a scene. But nobody thanks us for anything. “You made my day” she told my mother.

Gratitude is often mistaken for just common courtesy. And yet we are found lacking. In our busy lives, we fail to say thank you to the waiter who got us water, a stranger who stopped to let us pass, or a friend who compliments us for nice clothes. Our responses vary from “It’s his job” to “It’s my right to go first”, “or isn’t it nice, I bought it from….”

And yet Gratitude is much deeper than common courtesies. Gratitude is a lens to view our world. If viewed with a lens of gratefulness, the world seems better, the people in our lives more helpful, and our troubles insignificant.  If viewed with ungratefulness or cynicism, our world seems unjust, full of scheming people, and our troubles larger than life.

We know the theory and the benefits. Yet I know from experience that wearing the lens of gratitude takes persistence and practice. It is easy to look at all the things that go wrong, or to make a list of all the people to blame.

So how can we start? How can we wear this lens all the time? Or at least, most of the time.

My favourite is a simple exercise. Take a page of blank paper. Write “My gratitude List “at the top.

And now write. Think of all the things big and small to be grateful for. Think of the situations in your life that make you happy. Think about your relationships. Think about people who have helped you. Think of opportunities you got. Think of your last vacation. Think of something you are grateful for at work.

When I do this, At first I find that I am daunted by the blank page. I need to fill this? But then, as I write one, two and three things, I find that, soon I am scribbling away to glory.

So even if nothing comes to mind, persist. Stay with the page. Stay with the gratitude. Fill that page, no matter how long it takes.

The process of writing this list and then reading it brings to life all the wonderful things that are happening in our lives.  And truly, there are wonderful things happening all around. If we can only, pause long enough.

I like to carry my list in my wallet, or paste it on my display board. It helps me focus. It helps me move on quickly from my disappointments and my frustrations.

Shawn Achor from Harvard talks about the Happiness Advantage in this Ted talk. Watch it here.

 According to him, practicing the below 5 things for 21 days can rewire us for a positive attitude and happiness.

·         3 Gratitudes everyday.

·         Journaling

·         Exercise

·         Meditation

·         Random Acts of Kindness

So the next time, a waiter brings you a glass of water, Say thank you. If a stranger allows you to pass, stop and smile at him. Not only will you make somebody’s day, but it’s the secret to a happier you.