This is my final post of the 5 part series on The Art of being
Present.
I started with a
useful definition of being present as quoted in the book, Leadership Presence.
“The ability to be completely in the moment and flexible enough to
handle the unexpected.”
In my previous posts, I talked about how to be completely in the moment, what is meant by flexibility and how to practice being flexible.
But how does one practice being present?
How can we imbibe this as part of our daily lives, without eating into our
packed schedule?
So here are my Top 10 Tips
to practice the Art of being present.
1. Breathe:
Every now and then, whenever you remember, just stop and breathe. It may be a
shallow breath, or a deep sigh, or just a quick breath. Just stop and breathe.
Notice how your breathing is. Continue it for a few minutes, and check how you
are feeling. This is the simplest way of bringing you back to the present.
2.
Stop and smell the roses: Take the time to observe nature around
you. It could be looking at a leaf, or a tree from your window, or the rain
falling, or the sound of rain falling. This simple act of observing, slows us
down. It connects us with nature and ourselves, and consequently the moment.
3.
Pay complete attention to the task at
hand: It could be anything
that you are doing. An email that you need to write, A conversation you need to
have, or a phone call that you must take. Multi-tasking takes you away from the
present. Focus only on what you are doing at the moment. If it means keeping your
phone away, while you have a conversation with your child, or giving your
colleague your complete attention without glancing at your laptop, then do it.
4.
Drop your agenda: We all have our own agenda. Whether we
talk to our boss, or subordinate, or our child, or our parent. Even when we are
seemingly listening to them, we are forming our response, or wondering how our
agenda can be unleashed on them. Dropping your agenda, will ensure you remain
flexible to where the conversation is going. It doesn’t mean that you leave
your agenda entirely. You could pursue it at the end of a fruitful
conversation, or choose to discuss it at a later time. This helps you be
flexible.
5.
Talk to yourself: No, I’m not crazy. But I’m still asking
you to talk to yourself. We are constantly thinking, and at times unable to
focus. There are a million thoughts running in our heads, which are either
focused on the past or the future. At such times, your voice can bring you back
to the present. Simply say to yourself,
I am completely in the present or
I am focused on this moment or
This moment is perfect, and I am
completely immersed in it.
This will
break the clutter of your thoughts, and bring you firmly to the present. Of
course, be mindful of who is around you. If you are conscious, even writing it
down, or typing it on your laptop works.
6.
Say Yes, and… : This is an excellent improvisation technique which allows you to build in on what the other person is saying. In order
to use Yes, and..it is imperative that you have really listened to the person.
So, stop using, No, but…and replace
it with Yes, and!
7.
Embrace Uncertainty: We want to control everything in life, and
map every movement. But, that’s not the way it always turns out. As the saying
goes, Life is what happens to you while you are busy making plans. So, every
once in a while, why not embrace uncertainty? Have some free time in your
calendar? Leave it the way it is. Go with the flow. Spending time with the
kids? Don’t schedule any activity with them, just follow their lead. Too much
scheduling means you are living in the future. So, embrace uncertainty once in
a while, and let go!
8.
Look people in the eye: This is another way to be completely in
the moment, especially in our daily interactions and relationships. How often
do we take the time to look people in the eye, and listen to them? I’m not
asking you to stare at them. Just a genuine look into their eyes, as you
communicate. Even if you are saying Thank you to someone, look them in the eye,
and say Thanks. It will definitely make a world of difference to them, but will
also help you deeply connect, and stay in the present.
9.
Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is the lens, through which all
of life should be looked at. Saying Thank you for what you have in your life at
this moment brings your focus back to the present. Too often, we are aiming to
get somewhere, and we end up focusing on what we don’t have. Gratitude helps
you shift perspective. Not only will you be more present to yourself, you will
find yourself marveling at how rich your life really is.
10. Journal your feelings: Journalling, or writing a diary helps you take stock of your
feelings and circumstances. We end up burying our own feelings, because we have
to move forward in life. Or, we don’t really check in with ourselves on how we
are doing, only to struggle later. Just spending a few minutes each day,
writing down verbatim, and uncensored what you feel is not only therapeutic,
but also helps you be in the present.
So, these are my Top 10 tips
for being in the present. You don’t need to practice all of them everyday, but
you are welcome to! Just as you would cook a dish for yourself, or make a
cocktail for yourself, or even help yourself from a buffet, you can pick and
choose what works for you.
Doing at least one of these
tips everyday for 21 days, will help you build in the habit of being present.
And once you have seen the benefits for yourself, and people around you, you
will continue doing the same for life.
Stay present! Stay flexible!
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