One of my early influencers was the book “Who moved my Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson, M.D. I read it many times. And each time I read it, a different message leapt out at me.
But the one message that stayed with me then was the question,
I tried then to base most of my decisions by asking this one question. Sometimes, it was tough. Sometimes, easy. But asking myself that decision made things clearer. If I could put the fear out of my head, then I found myself able to take better decisions.
However, I still didn’t know how best to take a decision. Should I consult my head? Should I follow my heart? What is my intuition saying? How do I know what is right for me?
A few months back, I was struggling with a life changing decision. To quit my high paying job, for the career choice of my passion. A certain stable future with a paycheck over an ambiguous future with no fixed paycheck. Should I straddle my job with my passion? Or should I quit my job and dive full time into my passion. I asked myself what I would do if I wasn’t afraid. The answer came to me, but I still wasn’t feeling upto taking this huge step.
I then came across the book “Feel the fear and Do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers. I picked it up as a tool to get over my fear. However, what I came away with was an incredible tool to aid my decision making.
In the book she also talks about choices. We always choose between Option A and Option B. In our mind, we agonize as we pit one Option against the other. At times, Option A is right for us, and B is wrong. At times it is vice versa,
What if, both choices were right? What if they really weren’t pitted against each other? What if it wasn’t about a choice between right and wrong?
I literally sat up when I read this. Susan Jeffers writes about how each option comes with its own set of goodies. I merely have to choose which of the goodies are more important for me, and which ones do I want to choose to experience. So this is what I did with respect to my decision.
Knowing that choosing both would have been right, and it all depended on what was more important for me at this time, gave me a sense of freedom.
And I realized, along with getting over fear, having a sense of Freedom is equally important to making better decisions.
While both these are great tools to aid better decisions, I still found myself looking for a more comprehensive tool. That’s when I picked up Dr. Spencer Johnson’s book, “Yes or No- The guide to better decisions.
Better decisions are made by thinking in a constructive manner. Our thinking needs to be channelized.
And yet again, we need to ask ourselves the right questions. Dr. Spencer Johnson provides a simple, road map which can be applied to any decision.
Instead of a head v/s heart approach, he suggests we ask BOTH our head AND heart, what we want.
3 questions to ask my head:
•Am I serving the real need with this decision?
Want v/s need is critical. A want is a wish. A need is a necessity. Deep down, we do know what is a want and a need. For example, we recently started having minor issues with our second hand Honda City. Our immediate desire was to buy a brand new Innova. However, when I asked myself this question, we realized it wasn’t a need. It was a want.
•Am I informing myself of ALL the Options?
We always have options. Especially when we think we don’t. We may sometimes be too tired, or too upset to look around. Asking the right questions to ourselves and people around us is the first step. However, only relying on other’s advice alone isn’t enough. We must validate information ourselves.
•Am I thinking it through?
After identifying if we are serving the real need, and being informed of all the options, we need to think it through. This is like constantly asking ourselves, If I do this, then what would probably happen, then what…and then what? This helps me think through my decision to a better result.
3 questions to ask my heart:
•Am I being honest with myself?
Being totally honest with myself helps me focus on the truth. Am I building any illusions? Am I listening to my Ego?
•Am I using my intuition?
I notice how am I feeling as I make this decision? Am I filled with enthusiasm or with fear? I rely on my inner teacher, and ask myself. Does this decision feel right? As right as seeing a favourite colour, or meeting a close friend, or taking a peaceful walk? I acknowledge if it doesn’t feel right, and change my decision.
•Does my decision show that I deserve better?
I may think I deserve better, but my actions may not show likewise. Does my decision reflect what I truly deserve? Am I settling for less?
So what then is the key to making better decisions?
I quit my job two months back, and last month launched my own company. I haven’t looked back since. We have put our Innova purchase on hold as we honestly realized it is a want!
What decision have you been putting off taking? Take the first step to taking a better decision TODAY!
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