In my last post , I talked about what flexibility means. An important part of being present is being flexible enough to handle the unexpected.
It's important to note that it's not just about adapting to the situation, but also involves handling a dynamic and constantly evolving situation.
But how can we practice flexibility in our daily life ? Are there any ways to flex those muscles to make us flexible ?
Being completely in the moment will prime you to be flexible. In order to make this as close to your second nature ,here are some activities you can do to practice being both present and flexible.
1) Complete the story !
This is a game I often play with my creative writing workshop participants and also use it as an ice breaker in training programs.
Let's imagine that there are five people playing the game. A, B, C , D and E.
They have to build a story. Each person has to contribute a line. However the line can only take off from where the earlier person stopped.
A says: once upon a time , there was a fox.
Now it's B's turn to say the next line.
B says : The fox decided to take ballet lessons.
C says : He wanted to become the worlds best ballet dancer
D says : but , then there was a big problem..
And so on.....
By the time it's E's turn the story has evolved . But everyone has to stay clued in and present. The story has to start where the earlier person left off. If E doesn't listen to what D said and tried to think of his own line,it won't work.
Try it with your team , kids, or friends. Not only does it help you be present flexible and creative , it will also generate a few laughs.
2) Say Yes, and ....
This is a technique borrowed from the world of improvisational comedy. When two comedians volley with each other , they both have to remain open to whatever the other said. They have to work with it.
So they always say Yes , And ...
They add to it and give the partner something back to work with. There is no negation , no belittling and no ego.
Most of us say No a lot. We also say No, but....
Or we say I agree but...
These are just different ways to say No. And it probably means that while the other person was speaking , we were already forming a response in our head.
Saying Yes , and ...means we are present , listening and are committing to working with others by being open and flexible to their opinions.
Here are some examples of how to use this...
Your husband says: I am so tired , I can't take the kids for their soccer game tomorrow.
Instead of saying, You tired?? I'm the one who slaves all day at work and home. I ask you to do one thing and you can't do it!
Take a deep breath and say:
yes , I understand and I have a prior commitment tomorrow. How should we work this out ?
Or your boss says:
You need to pick up your speed of work , I understand the project is lagging behind.
Instead of saying , No , it's not me! I'm not delaying it. There are a dozen people involved . You should check with them as well..
Try saying : yes, and I am totally committed to this project . I would like to take you through a status report for this project to help us understand the delays.
Not only do we practice being present by understanding what the person is saying, but we are flexible enough to handle the situation and remain open to all points of view.
Try these two Simple exercises , and in no time you will find yourself more present, flexible and also open to different solutions.
In the next and final post on this topic, we will do a quick recap of being present.
Until then ,
Stay present , stay flexible !
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