The link between Performance and Potential..

How often have we heard it being said or ourselves said about someone, “He/She has immense potential, but somehow it doesn’t come across in his/her performance”.

Growing up, I often heard my teachers talk about my potential. But somehow, as I inched to the finishing line, I lost interest, or gave up, or stopped short.
And even today, I work on myself every day. I need to remind myself that I have to cross that finishing line, and live upto my potential. I don’t want to spend my dying day wondering, “Did I live up to my true potential?

I have always wondered:





I learnt the answer in my Executive Coach Training program held by Results Coaching Systems. Our Master Coach told us of a simple quote given by Tim Gallwey in his book “Inner Game of Tennis”





I let that statement sink in. I tried to absorb the true meaning of it.
And my mind flashed back to all those times that I hadn’t lived up to my potential.

What was the interference I had felt? Was it external? Was it some distraction? Was it someone else telling me I couldn’t do it? Yes, sometimes.

However, as I dug deeper, I realized, it was mostly internal. There were certain thoughts that I was thinking that were leading to the interference.




It was my self-talk which was leading to the interference. If I could minimize this interference, could I bridge the gap between my potential and performance?




Of course, external interference can also come in, in the form of detractors, disturbances etc, but most of us can handle those, and control them.

How can we control the interferences caused by our thoughts and beliefs?
And that’s when I realized that Affirmations and Powerful Visualizations can help us tune out the interference.

An Affirmation is a positive statement that is powerful and puts our focus back on the outcome.



I have worked with Affirmations for many years now, and found it an excellent tool to change my thinking and focus on the result.

Visualizations are all about picturing the outcome that you want, and painting a wonderful image of it in your head. The mind thinks in pictures, and there are many experiments conducted which show that visualizing the outcome in great detail, and living it as though it has already happened has a great impact on the actual outcome itself.

I first learnt about this tool from my father at age 16. When I was working hard to get into a prestigious college, he told me to spend 5 minutes every day, visualizing that I was already in the college. How would I feel then? How would I behave?

I took it a step further, and changed my daily route to pass that college. I would spend time watching from the other side; observe the uniform of the students. I would imagine myself waving to myself from inside the college.

I lived my dream, and walked into that college as a student three months later.



The simplicity and power of this equation, and the tools that I can use, has given me clarity on how I can maximize use of my potential.

Some questions below to make you think, and reflect…








And needless to say, we must always have faith in the immense potential within us..that is just waiting to be unleased…

Of Humility and Learning...

One of my turning points in life came when I decide to attend the Heal Your Life Workshop Leader Certification course in the UK. It is a weeklong teacher’s training course which trains and empowers you to conduct workshops on the powerful philosophy of Louise Hay.

I had already read the book Heal Your Life, and applied the principles in my life. I was beginning to experience fabulous changes in my life.

To say that the one week I spent was life altering would not be enough. It was a safe, nurturing environment with 40 other lovely souls. All of us spent 7 days learning, sharing, growing, and helping each other grow.

It was time away for me from everything. I was away from my job, my family, and friends. The clarity I experienced there was immense, and my vision for Swayam Life Skills took seed.

Looking back, I ask myself, "What are the things i learnt in that One week?"

Many things come to mind including acknowledging my true potential, the importance of quiet time, the power of my thoughts and discovering all the answers within me.

But most of all, I learnt the power of Humility. Here I was thinking about myself as someone who has a decade of corporate experience, and now wants to help people, and share my knowledge.

And then I saw 39 other people, older than me, with more experience, and yet so humble and willing to share. And they were keen on learning..from ME!

I learnt the POWER of humility and of being OPEN to LEARNING FROM OTHERS.

And even today, as me and my organization takes baby steps, I remind myself everyday to be Open and keep learning. From the 5 year old slum child I teach, to my 60 year old workshop participant, to the many teachers, there is a lesson to be learnt from everyone.

I only need to LISTEN, LEARN and always be HUMBLE.

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS....

When i look back at my life, and think about the point where true transformation began, it was when i started looking at my thoughts!

The first step was an AWARENESS to find out what was i thinking.
The next step was to change that thought, change the lens with which i viewed the world.

Like all CHANGE, this isn't easy. But with practice, I found I could slowly replace a negative, stressful thought, by a simple positive thought.

I CAN NEVER DO IT became I CAN DO IT.

I AM A VICTIM became I CAN CHANGE MY CIRCUMSTANCES


Did my problems disappear? NO!!
Did my challenges fade away? NO!!

I simply changed my thinking. And what i found was, that i felt better about myself. I found myself bouncing back from stressful situations quickly. My inner sense of peace and well being went up dramatically.

And yet, today I do go through situations, when my mind shouts I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE or LIFE IS SO UNFAIR. But as i let that moment pass by, and remember, that it's just a thought. And a thought can be changed.

I am sharing this simple poem that i read, which is a wonderful reminder for all of us.

Hope you enjoy reading it.

THOUGHT ARE THINGS

I hold it true that thoughts are things;

They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings:

And that we send them forth to fill

The world with good results, or ill.

That which we call our secret thought

Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,

Leaving its blessings or its woes

Like tracks behind it as it goes.


We build our future, thought by thought,

For good or ill, yet know it not.

Yet so the universe was wrought.

Thought is another name for fate;

Choose then thy destiny and wait,

For love brings love and hate brings hate.


By Henry Van Dyke

Thinking your way to better decisions...

Decisions, Choices, Dilemmas. We grapple with them daily. At some point of time, we have spent sleepless nights agonizing over that one decision. Not only that, we spend many hours also regretting our past decisions. We wonder, could we have made better decisions?

One of my early influencers was the book “Who moved my Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson, M.D. I read it many times. And each time I read it, a different message leapt out at me.
But the one message that stayed with me then was the question,



I tried then to base most of my decisions by asking this one question. Sometimes, it was tough. Sometimes, easy. But asking myself that decision made things clearer. If I could put the fear out of my head, then I found myself able to take better decisions.

However, I still didn’t know how best to take a decision. Should I consult my head? Should I follow my heart? What is my intuition saying? How do I know what is right for me?

A few months back, I was struggling with a life changing decision. To quit my high paying job, for the career choice of my passion. A certain stable future with a paycheck over an ambiguous future with no fixed paycheck. Should I straddle my job with my passion? Or should I quit my job and dive full time into my passion. I asked myself what I would do if I wasn’t afraid. The answer came to me, but I still wasn’t feeling upto taking this huge step.

I then came across the book “Feel the fear and Do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers. I picked it up as a tool to get over my fear. However, what I came away with was an incredible tool to aid my decision making.
In the book she also talks about choices. We always choose between Option A and Option B. In our mind, we agonize as we pit one Option against the other. At times, Option A is right for us, and B is wrong. At times it is vice versa,

What if, both choices were right? What if they really weren’t pitted against each other? What if it wasn’t about a choice between right and wrong?



I literally sat up when I read this. Susan Jeffers writes about how each option comes with its own set of goodies. I merely have to choose which of the goodies are more important for me, and which ones do I want to choose to experience. So this is what I did with respect to my decision.




Knowing that choosing both would have been right, and it all depended on what was more important for me at this time, gave me a sense of freedom.
And I realized, along with getting over fear, having a sense of Freedom is equally important to making better decisions.



While both these are great tools to aid better decisions, I still found myself looking for a more comprehensive tool. That’s when I picked up Dr. Spencer Johnson’s book, “Yes or No- The guide to better decisions.

Better decisions are made by thinking in a constructive manner. Our thinking needs to be channelized.
And yet again, we need to ask ourselves the right questions. Dr. Spencer Johnson provides a simple, road map which can be applied to any decision.
Instead of a head v/s heart approach, he suggests we ask BOTH our head AND heart, what we want.



3 questions to ask my head:

•Am I serving the real need with this decision?
Want v/s need is critical. A want is a wish. A need is a necessity. Deep down, we do know what is a want and a need. For example, we recently started having minor issues with our second hand Honda City. Our immediate desire was to buy a brand new Innova. However, when I asked myself this question, we realized it wasn’t a need. It was a want.
•Am I informing myself of ALL the Options?
We always have options. Especially when we think we don’t. We may sometimes be too tired, or too upset to look around. Asking the right questions to ourselves and people around us is the first step. However, only relying on other’s advice alone isn’t enough. We must validate information ourselves.
•Am I thinking it through?
After identifying if we are serving the real need, and being informed of all the options, we need to think it through. This is like constantly asking ourselves, If I do this, then what would probably happen, then what…and then what? This helps me think through my decision to a better result.

3 questions to ask my heart:

•Am I being honest with myself?
Being totally honest with myself helps me focus on the truth. Am I building any illusions? Am I listening to my Ego?
•Am I using my intuition?
I notice how am I feeling as I make this decision? Am I filled with enthusiasm or with fear? I rely on my inner teacher, and ask myself. Does this decision feel right? As right as seeing a favourite colour, or meeting a close friend, or taking a peaceful walk? I acknowledge if it doesn’t feel right, and change my decision.
•Does my decision show that I deserve better?
I may think I deserve better, but my actions may not show likewise. Does my decision reflect what I truly deserve? Am I settling for less?


So what then is the key to making better decisions?




I quit my job two months back, and last month launched my own company. I haven’t looked back since. We have put our Innova purchase on hold as we honestly realized it is a want!

What decision have you been putting off taking? Take the first step to taking a better decision TODAY!

Swayam....The journey within

I wanted to soar the skies, and reach higher.
With the wind beneath my wings fuelling my heart’s desire.
I looked outwards for the courage to change.
Yet didn’t find the strength to break self-limiting chains.

I laid conditions on my happiness,
As I looked for the things to take away my stress.
If only…became my favorite line
If I got this and that, then I would be fine

I tried so hard to be the best
Why was I always being put to the test?
Why me? I asked God hoping for a smile?
Why did I always have to walk the extra mile?

As I hurried about my daily chores,
Life became a mundane bore
What was my purpose? What was my life?
Amidst the daily challenges and the strife.

Until one day. I knew I had to pause.
It was upto me to fight my cause.
One look in the mirror said it all.
I was the one who would never let me fall.

From that day on, I looked within…
Discovering all the ingredients to WIN.
From that day on, the questions faded.
My self reliance increased, and I felt no longer jaded.

SWAYAM…the self became my source of courage.
With SWAYAM, I scaled newer peaks of Success.
SWAYAM..the self became my source for a smile.
With SWAYAM, I know I can walk the extra mile.